I'm starting to notice a cycle forming in my artistic practice. I want to say that there's a beginning, or starting point, but every season feeds off of the others. One season is ideation; full of writing (like right now) for myself, for my newsletter, for proposals and applications. During this season is when little seeds are planted, when I jot down random phrases or short descriptions of a possibility. I spend a lot of time in my comfy yellow chair for this one, taking breaks to hypothesize a collage at my table, or stretch and rearrange some paintings.
Another season is realization: I start making. Or, I've been rejected, but I still make. My projects, personal or for another purpose, begin to bloom and grow, and I begin to realize what will and won't work. It's constant revision, constant pruning, constant decision-making, and I think I take the most naps during this season. I've just finished the third season, reconciliation: I come to terms with what I've made, meaning I take a pensive step back and evaluate for the last time, deciding that the work is finished. I often re-organize and clean up during this season, keeping my body busy while my mind steeps in the new pieces surrounding me. Then write a little more. Exhibition statements, titling individual pieces, creating marketing materials. It slowly ushers me into the first season I mentioned, ideation. And on and on we go. Through all of these seasons, I'm taking in inspiration and striving to grow and be better (we talked about that in December). A phrase I've become quite attached to recently is "I am my own." It strikes me in the sense that I am my own to love and nourish, which can seem selfish, but also in that I am my own to recognize when I need others. I am also my own to reflect upon, to see myself. I am my own, whole person. I am my own muse. I am my own curator, of my person and of my artwork. And I think this is where that phrase hooks me, in my career. As an emerging independent artist, I am solely my own. Exhilarating and empowering and exhausting. I am my own idea machine. I am my own executive. I am my own production team. I am my own marketing specialist. I am my own graphic designer. I am my own publicist. I am my own photographer. I am my own contract manager. I am my own social media manager. I am my own secretary. I am my own creative director. I am my own custodial team. I don't mean that I do these things in a vacuum; I work hard to make sure that's not the case. But I am the one with the responsibility and opportunity of my work, and all that entails. I decide when and how to show up. And while I believe that ultimately my entire life belongs to a much greater power than myself, and while I feel like I belong in and have responsibility to my community and my relationships (hi, marriage), this phrase clings to every season of my artistic calling. I am alive. I am creative. I am ideating. I am realizing. I am reconciling. I am my own.
0 Comments
|
AuthorBA Thomas Categories
All
Archives
June 2020
|